They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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