I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's official drugs can't kill me
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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