i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
