there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
