I accidentally had phone sex last night
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
