That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
