All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
