Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she peed on how many people?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
