I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
two words: eviction party
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
