And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
