apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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