He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
