yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We are all done wearing pants today
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
