we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
