i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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