You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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