PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
