hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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