STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
