i already hear my dad disowning me
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
