What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
