Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I wish there were birth control emojis
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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