First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
