my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
All I want is dick and wine.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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