Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
