i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
