how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
