So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Such a big mess for such a small penis
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
