so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
