i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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