My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my shit smells like andre
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
