We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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