Having a random hookup so left but love u
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You're a waste of cheezeits
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
