I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
