My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
