My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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