Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
