What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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