Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
