if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Randomize
