I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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