It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
