did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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