I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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