I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
