i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I have post one night stand depression
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
