but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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