is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
