I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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