If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
