THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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