Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
